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Gone by Madison Robbins Flyleaf Literary Journal Chicago Issue #18

"Gone" by Madison Robbins

Issue #18 / May 2015

Illustrated by Borja Cabada


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MADISON ROBBINS is an MFA graduate student studying Fiction writing at Chatham University. She spends her time finding a balance between what is truth and what is fiction, and more importantly, how she can put it down on paper. She lives alone in Pittsburgh with her dog and lives way too many lives vicariously through television and movies. You can find her on twitter: @madrobbins.



"I went to a therapist for the first time in my twentieth year. Her name was Dr. Connor. She told me to call her Janice, or Janet—something with a J. I was too distracted with my thoughts. I just needed someone to talk to.


She had a home office. The chairs and couches were comfy but not welcoming enough for me to forget my reasons for being there. I was anxious—sickeningly. She determined I had food anxiety—Janet (Janice) asked about that, the whys of that, and asked when it started. I could feel her beginning to trap me into telling her things I didn’t want to tell anyone.


I don’t know, I said.


Yes, you do, she said.


I guess I was younger.


How young?


Thirteen, maybe.


And what happened when you were thirteen?


She knows what she’s doing. I started middle school, I said.


And? How was it?


It wasn’t good.


Why not?


Because I was alone.

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